earth fashion
by naggingGargoyle
Summary: Having exhausted Steven's wardrobe options, Peridot turns to Amethyst. It's a good decision all around.


**Note:** written for the amedot bomb prompt 'casual wear.'

* * *

Amethyst is sleeping uselessly on Steven's couch when Peridot knocks on the temple window, forcing her to use her spare key like some uninvited guest, when Amethyst had previously explicitly told her that she's welcome to just come over _'whenever'_. She marches over to the couch and looks down at Amethyst disdainfully.

"Amethyst," Peridot whispers loudly and pokes her in the arm. Amethyst only makes unintelligible murmuring noises in response, so Peridot decides to stop coddling her and use a reasonable volume. "Wake up. I need advice."

Amethyst stirs. Finally. "Hm?" she says, blinking up at Peridot.

"Are you finally conscious."

"Kinda," Amethyst replies, scratches her belly. "Hey, Peri. What's up?"

Peridot clears her throat. "In the event wherein one would like to experiment with Earth _'fashion_ '. And one has already exhausted the limited range provided by a certain household. Where would one procure more of this. Physical clothing."

Amethyst gazes at her. Yawns. "Aw, Peri, you wanna go _shopping?_ "

"I want no such thing!" Peridot says immediately. Then: "Do I?"

"Yeah, you do! Come on, let's grab some cash off Pearl and I'll show you the ropes." She slides off the couch, rolls over to the gem door, and starts calling loudly for Pearl through it.

Pearl is surprisingly supportive, only stipulating that they also pick up a few _'interesting keychains'_ , _'nice hairclips'_ and some _'silly putty'_. All of which Amethyst adamantly refuses, but Pearl gives them the _'cash dollars'_ anyway. In conclusion, Pearl is a terrible negotiator.

"Aight, we're all set," says Amethyst, flipping through her stack of cash. "Let's find us a ride to Empire City. You'll love it there, Per. Nah, wait, actually you probably won't. But it'll be fine."

They visit the car wash, but Greg is taking a _'nap'_.

"You could simply shapeshift into some manner of vehicle and take us there," Peridot points out.

"Eh, I could," Amethyst agrees. "But I don't feel like it." She winks at Peridot; the atmosphere becomes unaccountably warmer.

They walk around a while longer, until Amethyst points out a large pink shape in the sand and stops.

"Hey, there's Lion! Let's see if he'll give us a ride." Amethyst cups her hand around her mouth and calls: "Yo, Lion! Will ya give us a ride?"

Lion opens one eye, regards Amethyst coldly for a moment, and closes it again.

They take the _'train'_ to Empire City.

.

They start at a _'tailor store'_. It's a small, moody place inhabited by a very eager, freshly pressed human whom Peridot does her best to ignore.

Amethyst ignores them too. She collects several different slivers of fabrics for Peridot, all in dark, dreary shades, except for one particular, very thin sliver of fabric which is adorned with evenly spaced little green circles. It is Peridot's favorite fabric sliver.

"Ooh, you'll look so good in this!" Amethyst says as she herds Peridot into one of the _'fitting room'_ , cackling incessantly.

Peridot appreciates the cackling. It's very calming.

The clothes Amethyst collected for her have several layers, which Peridot appreciates, but they also have a lot of _'buttons'_ , which she finds aggravating and unnecessary, and the collar is tight and discomfiting, and the green dotted sliver she had considered her favorite turns out to be a _'necktie'_ , and it is exactly that: a horrible, superfluous knot around her neck. She feels mildly betrayed.

Amethyst takes a step back after adjusting the annoying, traitorous tie even tighter around Peridot's throat. She whistles. "Nice," she says with a nod. "What d'you think?

Peridot turns to look at herself in the mirror. She does look somewhat intimidating, but this appearance can be easily achieved through other means that do not involve uncomfortable neck decorations. "Hn. No. This isn't what I'm looking for."

Amethyst shrugs. "Cool. That's one thing we can scratch off the list then. Next up, denim!"

"What does that mean?"

"You'll see." Amethyst winks at her. Or possibly just blinks very pointedly. Peridot lacks the necessary data to make a definitive judgment, but the conjecture is reasonably likely considering the context.

The next _'store'_ they enter is much larger and more colorful than the previous one. Peridot finds its variety and volume both pleasing and mildly distressing. She feels pressure on her palm; Amethyst has taken hold of her hand. The store seems much less intimidating suddenly.

Amethyst directs them to the _'denim'_ section: row after row of carefully folded coarse fabric, a seemingly never-ending mass of navy blue. Peridot stares, hypnotized, while Amethyst snickers at her. When it becomes clear that Peridot isn't going to make any choices, Amethyst pulls several items out of the stacks, presumably at random, and drags Peridot to the changing booths.

"These all look exactly the same," Peridot observes as she examines each of Amethyst's picks.

"Wow, really," Amethyst says flatly. "I understand why the choice was so challenging now."

Peridot tries them on one after the other anyway. The fabric is scratchy and stiff and uncomfortable against her protective outer layer. She does not like it.

"No," she says, decisive.

Amethyst quirks her mouth. "Huh," she says, scratching her cheek. "Uh… dresses?"

They don't need to go to a different location this time; apparently this store stocks both clothing breeds. Amethyst leaves Peridot in the booth with the reassurance that she'll _'BRB'_.

Peridot peers at herself in the long wall mounted mirror while she waits. The bright white lights cast strange shadows down her face, giving her a slightly ominous appearance. She doesn't entirely dislike the effect.

"Heeere we are!" Amethyst announces as she barrels in the door. "Got you _all_ the different lengths."

"Oh, so those are _'dresses'_ ," says Peridot, looking at the lax, flowing garments down her nose. "You could have simply referred to Lazuli's uniform."

Amethyst shrugs. "You wanna try 'em on? Look, this one has frogs on it."

"No, no, I've already st– borrowed several of these items from Steven's supply. I find their shape unappealing and their function unintuitive."

Amethyst throws them over her shoulder. They sag sadly on the floor. "Eh, it was a long shot, anyway."

Peridot scowls at the sad heap of frog patterned fabric and crosses her arms. "So what is the next absurd, impractical item on our agenda?"

Amethyst makes a face. Peridot isn't sure which kind. But it is very pronounced. "Huh. I dunno, Per. You're a tough customer. I doubt skirts are gonna work any better, you're basically already wearing biking gear, and it's not exactly raincoat season."

"Hrm. The Earth disappoints me once again." Peridot sighs deeply. "Let's just go home."

"Hey, wait! Ugh, I can't believe I hadn't thought of that before. This is perfect." Amethyst rubs her hands together and then claps loudly. "C'mon. We're gonna get you some pa _jamas!_ "

The natural habitat of the _'pajama'_ is apparently brightly lit and very brightly colored. Peridot tries to blink the pink out of her vision with no success; she touches her goggles and applies a more pleasant green filter instead.

Amethyst collects a few items and shoves Peridot into a changing booth in a now-familiar routine. Peridot sighs and blindly picks two things from Amethyst's arms. As soon as she pulls them on, however, she freezes.

The material is soft and loose and light, hugging her limbs without constricting them, giving the illusion of greater mass and softer edges, blurring her figure. The small earth creatures imprinted upon it are irregular in size and orientation, but they possess a certain inscrutable quality that Amethyst would probably identify as _'cute'_. Not ideal, but acceptable; and if the seemingly overarching theme of these _'stores'_ applies, presumably these items might be available in different decorative patterns.

In summary: "This," says Peridot. "This is what I want."

Amethyst presses closer behind her, wrapping her arms around Peridot's middle. Peridot can see her asymmetrical grin in the mirror. "Sweatpants are my favorite, too," she says, and nuzzles the back of Peridot's neck.

Peridot shivers and leans back into Amethyst, slipping her hands into the comforting space of the sweatpants' _'pockets'_. They might just be humanity's greatest invention. "You have excellent taste," Peridot tells her. "Although I of course knew that already, from your choice of _'romantic partner'_."

Amethyst snorts and hugs her closer. "Psht. Ya nerd."

Peridot lays her head on Amethyst's shoulder, and Amethyst twists to give her a quick kiss.

"We should get you a matching sweatshirt," Amethyst tells her, squeezing a hand into Peridot's pocket next to hers.

"There's more of this?"

"Oh, yeah," says Amethyst. "There's whole department stores."

Peridot feels dizzy with possibility. "Oh my stars," she murmurs.

Amethyst laughs. "Yeah! And they're cool, and cute, and good for snuggling. And that's not even the best part!"

"What's the best part?"

Amethyst eases back, fishing Peridot's hand out of her pocket and holding onto it. "They're good for everything! You can run in them, sleep in them, eat in them, cook or wrestle or fight monsters in them… That's the best part about sweatpants: you _never_ have to take them _off_."

Peridot gasps. She feels as if her eyes might look the way Steven's do sometimes. "I want fifty," she whispers. Amethyst looks at her very intently. "What? Is that not a reasonable number?"

"It's definitely not," says Amethyst. "Let's do it."

.

Apparently, they do not have enough _'cash dollars'_ to purchase fifty pairs of matching sweatpants and t-shirts. Consequently, they exit the store carrying only fourteen pants, twenty-nine shirts, and four fiddly metallic zipper-bisected sweatshirts, all divided amongst twelve bags. A trivial weight to bear in exchange for the privilege of owning these excellent garments. (Also, Amethyst transforms into Purple Puma and picks up all the bags as well as Peridot in one hand, but that's beside the point.)

"You know what we're gonna do as soon as we get home, right?"Amethyst says, lifting Peridot and her newly acquired treasure above her head.

"No," Peridot says suspiciously. It had better not be pushups. Amethyst in a Purple Puma mood can be surprisingly boring.

But what Amethyst says is: "Kick Pearl outta the house, make bacon pancakes, get grease and syrup all over our sweats and not change out of them."

Peridot twists in Amethyst's grip so she can stare at her. "Yes," she says breathlessly. And, to be fair, "I guess saving the Earth was worth it after all."


End file.
